Some victims are held
prisoner in their own homes.
Assailants use psychological
terrorism and brainwashing
techniques to keep their
victims in the violent
relationship.
Some victims stay because
they believe that counseling
or therapy will help their
batterers stop being
violent.
Some victims are forced to
stay because they can't
afford legal help.
Some victims stay because
there is no place for them
to go. They can't afford
decent and safe housing.
Some victims stay because
they are not given accurate
information about domestic
abuse; they don't know they
have options.
Some victims stay because
their assailants
deliberately and
systematically isolate them
from receiving support.
Some victims stay because
they believe what their
assailant is telling them:
-
"You're crazy and
stupid"
-
"You're the one that's
sick"
-
"You need help"
-
"You're hysterical"
-
"If you leave, I'll get
custody because you'll
have abandoned me and
the kids"
Some victims stay because
their assailant encourages
or coerces them into using
alcohol or other substances,
and even sabotages their
recovery.
Some victims believe that as
long as he does not resort
to physical violence, that
they are not being abused or
injured. (At least he
doesn't hit me!)
Some victims stay because
agencies are not able or
unwilling to offer them
protection or violence (this
is not the case with our
shelter).
Some victims stay because of
religious, cultural, or
societal beliefs that it is
their duty to keep the
marriage together at all
costs.
Some victims stay because
they want the violence, not
the relationship, to end.
They believe in love and
they still love their
partners. They may take many
steps to try to stop abuse,
and leaving the home may be
their last resort.
Some victims will endure
physical and emotional abuse
to keep the family together
for the children's sake.
Very often, it is when the
violence is directed at her
children that she will take
them and leave.
Some victims stay because
they fear their children or
their own safety, or the
safety of those who help
them. A victim frequently
faces the most physical
danger when she attempts to
leave: she may be threatened
with violence or worse if
she tries to flee.
Some victims stay because
they believe society expects
them to stop the abuse, when
it is the abuser who has to
stop. They feel that the
community will not lend them
support.