Abuse can be physical.
Abuse can be emotional.
Abuse can be verbal.
Abuse can be sexual.
Abuse is about one person
controlling another. It's a
pattern of behaivor. Many
victims don't think of
themselves as being battered
because they haven't been
hit. Not all bruises from
domestic abuse can be seen.
Mental, emotional, and
sexual abuse are just as
painful and damaging as
physical violence. You may
be black and blue - inside
or out.
Victims of domestic violence
come from all walks of life,
all cultures, all income
groups, all ages, all
religions.They share
feelings of helplessness,
isolation, guilt, fear, and
shame.
Are you being
abused? Has your partner
ever...
-
hit, grabbed, choked,
bitten, burned, slapped
or pushed you?
-
used a gun or a knife or
some kind of weapon
against you?
-
hit you with some object
like a bat or pan or
belt?
-
hit, held, or squeezed
you so hard that it left
a bruise?
-
threatened to hurt or to
kill you or your
children or your
friends?
-
withheld money or food
or medicine or
transportation from you?
-
called you names, made
you feel ashamed of
yourself, humiliated
you?
-
put you down in front of
your children, your
friends, your boss, or
relatives?
-
forced you to have sex
or perform sexual acts
when you did not want
to?
-
destroyed or broken your
possessions?
-
threatened to harm or
kill himself if you do
or do not do something?
If you answered "yes" to any
of these questions, you may
be a victim of abuse. Keep
in mind that abuse is not
categorized by just one hit.
It is, however, categorized
by repetition and patterns
of violence that allow the
abuser to gain control over
the victim.
If you feel that you are a
victim, take action. Contact
our shelter, and start to
regain control of your
life.
"Truth isn't always beauty,
but the hunger for it is."
Nadine Gordimer
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This chart is a graphic way
of looking at different
kinds of abuse. Each spoke
represents a tactic used to
gain control or power. The
rim that surrounds and
supports the spokes is
physical abuse. It holds the
system together and gives
the abuser strength.
Isolation
Controlling what she does,
who she sees and talks to,
where she goes.
Emotional Abuse
Putting her down or making
her feel bad about herself,
calling her names. Making
her think she's crazy. Mind
games.
Economic Abuse
Trying to keep her from
getting or keeping a job.
Making her ask for money,
giving her an allowance,
taking her money.
Sexual Abuse
Making her do sexual things
against her will. Physically
attacking the sexual parts
of her body. Treating her
like a sex object.
Using
Children
Making her feel guilty about
the children, using the
children to give messages,
using visitation as a way to
harass her.
Threats
Making and/or carrying out
threats to do something to
hurt her emotionally.
Threaten to take the
children, commit suicide,
report her to welfare.
Using
Male Privilege
Treating her like a servant.
Making all the "big"
decisions. Acting like the
"master of the castle".
Intimidation
Putting her in fear by using
looks, actions, gestures,
loud voice, smashing things,
destroying property.
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